The Wild and Wacky World of Naruto
by She of too Much Free Time
Summary: JuSt LeArNeD tHe ShIfT kEy! YaY mE!
1. Prelude and Character Placement, Part 1

Warning: Character bashing. Which ones? All.

This is a parody folks. A parody. I'll make fun of anything that comes to mind, and no one shall be spared (except the characters I forget about).

Thanks to BlueDragonGirl1 for proofing the story.

ooO

oOo

Ooo

**Prelude and Character Placement, Part 1**

Welcome to the wild and wacky world of Naruto! In this world Sasuke has apparently not left for Orochimaru for whatever reason or perhaps this is set before Sasuke leaves and after Naruto and Jiraiya brought back Tsunade to be the new Hokage. Whichever way, it creates lots of discrepancies in the Naruto time line that the author doesn't care to explain any further then this. So deal.

Now, this story starts on a nice sunny, cloud free day, because we know that's the only weather suitable for our heros' village. God knows how Shikamaru has managed to make cloud watching his hobby.

At any rate, we also start off with Naruto at that Ramen shack, of course, because where else would he be? Training? Ha! Judging by the bowls he is on his tenth serving, because ten is a nice round number. Though two and four are also nice numbers, and slightly more realistic, ten shows his ramen obsession better, even though in the series it probably never showed him eating more then two or three bowls at a time.

Where were we? Oh yes! Naruto at the ramen shack gorging himself on ramen when Sasuke walked up and sat beside him. They exchanged manly grunts with each other to a) acknowledge each other or, more likely, b) insult each other in man talk. They waited in silence for Kakashi to show up and start their day of training. What happened to the normal meeting spot? After two hours of 'pleeeeeeeease' and Naruto's watering blue eyes even the copy ninja will fall.

A three hour wait later (and twenty more bowls of ramen, how, God, how hasn't his stomach exploded!) Kakashi finally showed up.

"You're late!" shouted Naruto and Sakura, who had showed up at some point but that wasn't important enough to mention. After all, she doesn't have cool powers, a demon, or an overly tragic past. She's just normal, and who the hell likes normal?

"Ah, sorry. I woke up this morning and thought that I didn't want to deal with Sasuke's bitchyness, Naruto's stupidity and Sakura's uselessness."

"…" said Sasuke.

"…" said Naruto.

"…" said Sakura.

"_The hell!_" said Inner-Sakura

Kakashi closed his one eye and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Uh, I mean 'I got lost on the road of life'."

"...Liar!" yelled Naruto and Sakura.

"…" Sasuke said, because apparently he didn't read or socialize often as a child and as such never developed his vocabulary.

-

Now the author will skip the actual training since the only ninja training that ninjas seem to do involves kicking or hitting stationary objects or fighting each other. Option one sounds boring to write, and option two is impossible seeing how the author doesn't know how to write actions scenes. To summarize it: Sasuke did perfect in everything then acted smug afterwards, Sakura did nothing and swooned over Sasuke (despite her promise during the Chuunin exam to not be left behind anymore), Naruto acted stupid and fell down a lot and Kakashi wished he had stayed in bed.

As this ended Kakashi quickly said his good byes and got the hell out of there, heading to the nearest bar to go on a binger and wonder why the hell he passed this team.

"Sasuke-kuun," Sakura said in a voice whinier then her actual anime voice, "want to go out?" she asked, blushing slightly at the thought of him and her out on a romantic dinner.

"No," was Sasuke's response, even though he hadn't actually heard Sakura's question, nor did he hear Naruto trying to get Sakura to go out with him instead. In fact, the full sentence was 'No! There's no good reflective surfaces around here!'. Only the 'no' made it out and came out in an uncaring tone (though he did care greatly) because his voice didn't seem to have any tones other then 'angry' and 'uncaring'.

Why didn't the rest of the sentence come out? Well, as previously stated, Sasuke doesn't have much of a vocabulary.

And why was he upset about there not being any reflective surfaces? Well, as many of you fine readers may have noticed, Sasuke is a megalomaniac. When Kakashi was first asking about the team Sasuke lied when he said he didn't like anything. In fact, he enjoyed looking good very much. He wakes up at least an hour earlier then Sakura (the slacker!) in order to prepare for the day. Making sure every bit of skin is clean, every hair in place and every crease in his cloths screaming 'angst'. He enjoys the way he looks very much, but stating this fact would be very uncool.

It may have even dropped the number of swooning girls by .07 which would mean .07 less people boosting his already enormous ego. The only threats to his absolute superiority in looks was his brother, who he would soon kill, and one Hyuga Neji.

And why hadn't Sasuke done anything to the Hyuga in order to end this threat to his person? Because while the Hyuga is good looking, he has often been mistaken for a girl, unlike Sasuke. Until the Hyuga's gender is no longer confusing to tell, Sasuke is still on top.

At this thought Sasuke smirked (causing Sakura to swoon and Naruto to grumble) and wandered off in search of a reflective surface so he could make sure his three bottles of hairspray were still holding (when you're this hot, who cares about the environment?).

After refusing to go out with Naruto for the tenth time in six minutes, Sakura went off to see if Ino had finished with training so she could brag about all that Sasuke had done that day. Meanwhile, Naruto decided to train more so that he'd be able to beat Sasuke during the next days training, thus impressing Sakura. But not likely to happen.

---

Well, enough of the bastard, the fan girl and the idiot, commonly known as 'Team Seven', but more commonly known as 'the bastard, the fan girl and the idiot'. Let us move on to another team. A team that holds two of Sasuke's rivals and some random girl.

Tenten: Hey!

They were waiting in their normal meeting spot, which for some reason was like the same place where Team Seven meets up, only the bridge and stream were bigger (current score: 53-52 my eternal rival!). Wait until Gai finds out they've got a new meeting spot.

Neji, Lee and the random girl,

Tenten: Hey!

waited patiently for their beloved teacher to show up...Well, Lee was waiting patiently for his beloved teacher to show up (while doing some sit ups to start off the day), Neji was thinking of new ways to make fun of Lee, and Tenten

Tenten: removes kunai from the authors' throat

was wishing she were in a team where the teacher at least recognized that he did, indeed, have a third student.

"Hello, my youthful students!" Gai shouted, too loud and bright for this time of the morning, as he appeared in a puff of smoke.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted, as equally loud and bright.

"Hello Gai-sensei," Neji and Tenten drawled, sounding like they'd rather be telling him off.

"Well, my beloved student-er-students! It's time to start another day of training in this, your glorious spring time of life!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted.

Tenten mumbled something under her breath and Neji simply declined to respond. And then they were off to their training spot, which is quite a walk from where they were. There is another bridge just a stones throw away from the training grounds, but it's smaller then Kakashi's team bridge. He, of course, covered up the real reason for their meeting place by telling his loving student(s) that walking was good exercise.

Once they got to their training spot, Lee and Gai went of to train together, which made Neji and Tenten wonder why they bother showing up at all. So they went to a smaller clearing about a minutes walk away to start their own training. Which involve Tenten taking to the trees and throwing sharp, pointy things at Neji. Neji then proceed to use his fine moves to avoid all the weapons. But Tenten was already good at throwing weapons so really she should be training in strength or endurance or something, and Neji was good at blocking weapons so he should be training in... something that deflates his ego at least.

About an hour later Lee came over to Neji and Tenten's training area and challenged Neji to a fight. Does he ever challenge Tenten to a fight? Does it matter?

After the embarrassing defeat of Lee by Neji, Lee fell into a funk. Which made Neji and Tenten shake their heads. Honestly, Neji would have liked to roll his eyes, but no one would be able to tell.

"Do not fear Lee!" Gai bellowed as he went over to his favorite student, "It is still your springtime of youth! With hard work and perseverance you shall one day defeat your rival!"

"Oh, Gai-sensei!" Lee proclaimed, his eyes watering like he was a female in a crappy shoujo series.

"Lee!" Gai responded, his eyes watering as well.

"Hey," Neji said, sounding irritated, "don't I at least get a 'congratulations'?"

Lee enthusiastically stood up from his previous slouched position, "I will now work my body into exhaustion, despite the fact that over working the muscles the way I do without taking breaks is bound to tear the muscles to pieces, hence making one weaker, not stronger! I could have been strong enough to defeat Gaara of the Dessert if only I had taken a damn day off to let my body rest and heal, but oh well! Hind sight is twenty-twenty! Now! Back to overworking myself!"

"Uh...Lee?" Tenten started, wondering why her teammate never bothers listening to his own observations. But she could get no further as Gai-sensei and Lee had entered into another scene that really only lovers should be in. -the world collectively shudders at the thought of Gai/Lee-

The character not even worthy of a last name sighed and wondered if any of the teachers in Konoha were actually qualified to teach. Well, back to throwing everything including the kitchen sink at Neji. For no other reason then maybe one day she'll actually hit the arrogant jerk.

And that finishes our journey with the other bastard and the workaholic.

Tenten: Ehm-hmm.

Oh, and um, the girl...Tenten.

Tenten: sighs

ooO

oOo

Ooo

This is my second try at a comedy. My last one failed utterly. I normally don't ask for reviews, but if you wouldn't mind telling what did or didn't work for you, I'd be really grateful.

Slam me horribly, and I'll smile and say 'thanks'.

Next chapter: Prelude and Character Placement, part 2


	2. Prelude and Character Placement, Part 2

So far I'm sticking to my schedule of every Friday!...Of course it has only been two weeks...

Thanks to BlueDragonGirl1 for proofing the story.

ooO

oOo

Ooo

**Prelude and Character Placement, Part 2**

And now we move onto the other fan girl, the fa-ehm- and the slacker. The fan girl, Ino, was pacing back and forth and grumbling things to herself that ranged from 'Where the hell is our teacher?' to 'I should have been the one on Sasuke-kun's team, not big forehead girl!', the fa-ehm-, Choji, was eating a granola bar (still to early for chips) and sitting next to the slacker, Shikamaru, who was laying on the grass hoping that some clouds might actually appear in the sky today. But since he's a genius he can tell patterns and knows that no clouds will appear until a) a character more important them him would like clouds in the sky, or b) a character more important them him is heading for some pain and heart break.

Shikamura sighed. How troublesome it was living in a ninja village. Outside the village nature followed its natural course. After training today he'd go sit outside the village gates and see all the clouds he wanted. He almost wished Asuma would show up soon just so he could get training over with, but in the end it was easier to settle for watching tree branches sway.

"Where is he?" Ino suddenly screeched, "He's never been this late before!"

"Maybe something happened?" Choji offered, trying to calm his female teammate down.

"Hey," Asuma said around his cigarette as he walked up to his slightly irked team.

"What happened!" Ino shouted

"Pardon?" Asuma asked, blinking in surprise.

"You're late!" Ino responded to her teachers', what she considered, idiotic reply.

"Oh, yes," he said, laughing nervously as he scratched the back of his head. Why couldn't he have gotten Hinita on his team? She seemed like a nice quite well behaved girl.

"Well," Ino prompted her teacher, arms crossed and foot taping.

"Well, I saw someone I hadn't seen in a long time and went over to say 'hi'," in truth he had seen Kurenai and proceeded to stalk her, but then she suddenly disappeared (presumably to meet her team) and he realized he still needed to meet his team.

Ino smiled at her teacher, "Alright then. Let's get started then, huh?"

Choji and Shikamaru looked at Ino oddly for the out of character response. But Ino knew what Asuma was really doing and that he had a thing for the red-eyed teacher. They had occasionally shared stalking techniques together. inexplicably, both Kurenai and Sasuke get shivers at the same time

"Come on!" Ino said to her two male teammates, "Let's finish training so I can find that big fore headed girl and wring out everything that Sasuke-kun did today from her!"

Shikamaru gave a big sigh, but got up. The sooner training ended, the sooner he could go watch some clouds. Choji contently followed his team.

---

And now we move onto the last, but not least, Konoha Genin team (though shouldn't there really be two more teams in the year up? Oh, well). This team consists of the quiet boy, the shy girl and the loud mouth. And for no particular reason the author will let them introduce themselves. author shifts nervously and hopes the bugs come no closer

"Hello," the shy girl began, "I'm Hinata. I apparently have no point other then having a crush on Naruto, and providing a starting point for Neji angst."

"Yo!" said the loud mouth in what sounded like a shout but was really his normal voice volume, "I'm Kiba! I'm loud and have a dog! I acted disgusted of the way Naruto acts, when in the end I'm frankly no better, and sometimes worse, then him! And this here,"

"Bark!" said the dog, who was slightly peeved at being forgotten in the team opening. The author had forgotten that the cute little puppy was indeed not a stuffed animal.

"That's Akamaru!" Kiba continued, "He's my battle partner and best friend!"

"...," stated the quite boy, "... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... . ... ... ... ... ..."

"Shino-kun said that you can call him Shino-sama," Hinita kindly filled the readers in, "and that he's the leader of our team."

"Hey! I'm the leader!" Kiba shouted at Shino and promptly started a fight with the shade-wearing boy, and was just as promptly defeated by Shino's bugs.

"He also said that if you've ever stepped on a bug, you'd better watch out," Hinita continued to translate 'Shino talk'.

Suddenly the teams' teacher appeared out of nowhere, and on time unlike other teachers in this village.

"Good day," the red-eyed women said, "My name is Kurenai. Kurenai-san to you. I am the teacher of this team, and possibly the only teacher who recognizes that I do have three students. I'm also one of the few women Juunin. I believe the total is 5 women to 136 men... And no, I am NOT going out with Asuma-san. I don't know what country you come from, but here standing beside someone doesn't mean you are going out with them."

Kurenai then looked thoughtful for a moment as her students silently waited for whatever observation she made this time that would open their eyes more to the world around them. "Notice how the team lead by the only women is the team that has the least attention paid to it?"

The team was silent for a few minutes as this very accurate point was digested.

"Hey, ya! That's not fair, damnit!" Kiba nearly screamed.

"……………………………………..," said Shino.

"You're right Shino-san, it does show the sad state the world is in," Hinita translated once again, her own mind churning, "Maybe because not matter how hard a women tries to become a great ninja, her accomplishments are always over looked compared to male ninja's is why more females don't see the point of bothering to become good Kunoichi?"

"….." said the entire team.

"Well, we'll show them now won't we Akamaru? We'll beat all their sorry asses down!"

"………… ………………………………… ….………… …………………… ……………………….. ……………….," said you know who.

"Yeah, Shino, we should start training to show them all what we can do!" Kiba exclaimed happily, "We'll show 'em that a teacher who doesn't just solely concentrate on one member can train a stronger and more rounded team! A team that can beat all their asses down!"

Hinita nodded in agreement. Little did they know that that is not how things work in this world. Poor, poor misguided fools.

---

We will now cut to the Sand Village and to the only Genin team that we are aware of from there. This team consists of the bully, the bitch and the demon-possessed possibly cured psycho.

"We will now travel and stay in Konoha despite the fact that we just finished a war against them, causing the deaths of many they hold dear," Baki was explaining to his students their latest assignment.

Kankuro was, understandably, confused about the situation, "And why are we going there?"

"We are going under the flimsy context of 'fostering good will between the villages'. " Baki began, sounding like he thought the idea was altogether dumb, "Even though we were suppose to be the ace to take down the village, or more specifically the demon inside Gaara was. Don't worry, I'm sure they'll forgive us for our wrong doings, after all it was just orders, and accept us into their society... Even though they have continued to hate Naruto throughout his entire life time because someone else sealed a demon in him, thus saving all their sorry asses," he finished.

"So, Konoha makes deals with people who try to harm them, and hate and isolate those that save them?" Kankuro asked, learning something new for the day.

"Basically, yes," was Baki's only response.

Temari decided that she had better say something before people forgot that she existed, "And people say Sands got issues..."

"…" said Gaara.

"We are leaving today," Baki continued on, "We'll be leaving in an hour."

"That soon?" Temari asked, "Shouldn't you have told us this yesterday?"

"It was a last minute decision," he said simply.

"By whom?" Gaara actually spoke.

"…" said Baki, "Now go pack and meet me at the front gate in an hour," and with that he disappeared.

"Uh," was Kankuro's only response.

Temari just sighed, "Well, you heard Baki-sensei. Let's go pack."

"…………..…..?" said Gaara.

Temari smiled indulgently at her little brother, "I'm sorry Gaara, we don't have time to stop and play in the sand box, but I promise to take you to a park when we get to Konoha."

Kankuro watched the odd scene and sweat dropped. Was it just him, or did his family actually manage to become more screwed up after coming back from Konoha the last time?

ooO

oOo

Ooo

Next Chapter: Prelude and Character Placement, Part 3


	3. Prelude and Character Placement, Part 3

Sorry for not posting last Friday, and now the next chapter of Kunoichi is going to be put off until this Friday. A kinda last minute decision to go visit home for the weekend threw me off, but I will have the next chapter of TWAWWON out on Friday!

Thanks to BlueDragonGirl1 for proofing the story.

ooO

oOo

Ooo

**Prelude and Character Placement, Part 3**

The Sand team had packed, met up with their teacher and left their beloved(?) village behind in order to go to Konoha.

"We're here," Baki stated in a flat voice.

"…huh?" was the puppet masters response.

"…." stated the sand user.

"But, but that's not possible! It takes three days to travel between our villages! It's only been three hours!" Temari said in bewilderment, voicing her teammates and siblings thoughts.

"I know," Baki said with the same tone of voice.

"But, Baki-sensei, how is that possible? No one, no matter their speed, can make it in only three hours!" Kankuro argued what his eyes saw to be true, but his common sense told him was impossible.

"I know," Baki continued.

"..." Gaara said to reinsert his presence.

Temari shook her head like it would cause things to make sense, "Then, how Baki-sensei?"

"There are some things in this world that are better not questioned," Baki said with a sigh.

Gaara:...

Kankuro:...

Temari:...

Baki:...

"Let's go," Gaara said, sounding annoyed. Unlikely circumstances or no, this meant he'd get to play in the park sooner rather then later.

"Right. I will see you all at a later date," the teacher said, then prepared to leave.

"What?" Kankuro yelled, stopping his teacher.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Temari continued her brothers' thought.

"I'm not an important enough character to be in the story more then necessary," Baki sounded rather depressed at the thought.

Kankuro and Temari shared the same response, "Huh?"

"…" said Gaara.

"Just get in the damn village and start fostering good will!" Baki shouted and then disappeared to who cares where.

"Well, then..." Temari started, sounding rather uncomfortable, "I guess we'd better go."

"………………………………………………..?" asked Gaara.

"We'll find you a sand box to play in after we're settled in," Kankuro responded to his brother, sounding rather annoyed. "Sheesh."

The sand around Gaara's feet began to shift.

"Uh...I meant, 'if it's alright with you', okay Gaara?" Kankuro corrected himself, laughing nervously.

"We should see the Hokage and find out where we are staying before we do anything else," Temari came to her brothers' aid, "after, uh, making a three day trip in three hours we should probably rest," she continued, sounding and shifting uncomfortably. For doing the impossible, she really didn't feel tired.

"...Alright," Gaara responded and then followed his sister, "can we play tag when we get to the park?"

Temari smiled and nodded, and Kankuro cringed. 'Tag' basically translated to having his sister and kid brother whack him repeatedly...Hard.

'I'm never, ever having kids!' Kankuro thought vehemently.

-

The Sand Team continued on their way into the village where they were supposed to 'foster goodwill'. None of the three on the team knew how they were supposed to do that. Right now the game plan was to go meet the Hokage, find out where they were staying, go to where they were staying, rest (even though none of them were tired after their miraculous journey) and finally go play tag at a Konoha park before Gaara decided to kill someone.

Upon reaching the main office building where the Hokage's office resides (the walk through the village was surprisingly pleasant considering they had invaded said village slightly over a month ago), they noticed they were getting strange looks. Not 'I hate you, you invaders you!' looks, nor 'what the hell are you doing here!' looks but looks that seemed to say 'how did you get here so fast?'.

The Sand Siblings couldn't answer these unspoken questions. After all, they weren't sure themselves.

Once they were allowed to enter the Hokage office (Tsunade had to take a few moments to wipe the drool and ink off her face) she gave them the same curious glance, and then muttered something that sounded like 'artistic license my ass'. By this time the Sand Team had decided everything involving this village didn't make sense and never would, so they did the only thing they could to keep the (remainder) of their sanity and gave up trying to understand altogether.

"Well," Tsunade began, "we don't have the residence you would be staying in ready for you yet. Frankly, you weren't expected for another two days at least."

"..." said the Sand Siblings.

"But, for the next two days I'm sure we can find someplace for you to stay!"

"A park?" ventured Gaara.

"Er, no. Someplace with more shelter then a park." the busty woman pulled some files out of nowhere (file-summoning-no-jutsu) and leafed through the pages to find an appropriate place for the three to stay.

'Hm. Gaara might be good with Lee or Naruto, either one could probably keep him in line, or at least occupied. Kankuro would be funny to pare up with in Shino's house. And Temari in Shikamaru's house just to shake that lazy asses day up,' the still new Hokage thought with a self-satisfied smirk (which made the Sand Siblings, including Gaara, shift nervously).

Tsunade quickly wrote down letters to each of the Genin the Sand Siblings would be staying at to explain the situation as well as directions to each of the houses.

Temari finally asked the question all three of the siblings were wondering, "How exactly are we suppose to foster 'good will' by-"

She was abruptly cut off as Tsunade suddenly stood up and started pushing them towards the door, "Well now, you have best be going! I have lots of Hokagish stuff to do. Yes, that's right, 'stuff'," she muttered the last sentence to herself as the door to her office closed, efficiently locking the three out.

The sand that was always around Gaara's feet just for moments like this began to shift, making everyone else freeze, "Does this mean we won't be going to the park?"

Everyone, except Temari, sweat dropped.

"Of course we can Gaara," the girl smiled her actual nice smile that seemed to only be reserved for Gaara, "We can get settled in at these houses, then I can pick you up and maybe Lee will come play tag with us."

Gaara smiled, which caused everyone but Temari to shiver. Everyone in the room suddenly grew a respect for the female sand nin.

Kankuro was currently wondering what a worse fate was. Playing tag with his sister and brother, or spending time at that creepy Shino guy's house?

ooO

oOo

Ooo

You know one of the things I like about Tsunade? Even though her breasts are quite large, unlike other animes, they don't defy gravity.


	4. Getting Settled

Thanks to BlueDragonGirl1 for proofing the story.

ooO

oOo

Ooo

**Getting Settled**

We will first switch to Temari making her way to Shikamaru's house. She was currently trying very hard to push away all the ideas that where coming to her. She probably wouldn't be able to create much good will with the village if she spent her entire time here torturing one of their shinobi.

But of course, that didn't mean she couldn't dream. She let out a slightly crazy laugh, which didn't draw as much attention as you'd think it would. Outside the village walls the cloud watch Shikamaru suddenly shivered.

Soon the directions lead her to a pleasantly clean and nice looking house. A part of her mind had been expecting to see a place in shambles.

"Guess the apple fell pretty far from the tree," she said with a smirk and walked up to the front door. Ringing the doorbell she waited for a few seconds to have an equally pleasant and nice looking lady answer the door.

"Welcome. May I help you?" She asked with a smile. Temari gave her best smile back to the lady, a smile that was slightly strained.

"Hello. Is Shikamaru-san in?" being polite was hard, but she did have a mission to think of.

"'Shikamaru-san'? What would a nice young girl like you want with my sorry excuse for a son?" the sweet smile didn't leave her face.

Temari sweet dropped. This lady seemed slightly scary. "Well, since he isn't here I suppose it would be okay to give this to you. It should explain everything." The pig-tailed girl said while handing the lady the sealed letter.

Shikamaru's mom quietly read the letter, her smile growing bigger and bigger as time went by. She then gave a short laugh.

"So that's it, hmm? Come right in. I've always wanted a daughter. I'm sure Shikamaru will be glad to see you to." the nice looking lady gave a smile that sent a shiver down Temari's back. The Sand Nin found herself wondering what exactly was writing on the letter and straining to see.

The lady of the Naru household disappeared inside and quickly went about setting up tea and cookies for her guest to enjoy while she went to prepare the spare room.

Maybe a nice girl around the same age of Shikamaru living in the house _would_ finally convince him to shape up. Anyway, it should be interesting.

---

Kankuro stood in front of a large gate. Behind the wooden wall all he could see was trees.

'Is there really a house back there?' he wondered to himself, 'Wait! What does that matter? Maybe if I go now I can sneak back to Suna before anyone notices. No, I'll just get in trouble. Maybe becoming a missing nin would be better then staying here?'

Kankuro could follow that thought no further as the door on the gate suddenly swung open, revealing the last person the puppet master wanted to see.

"…" said Shino.

"Uh...Here." he said as he thrust the sealed letter into Shino's general direction. While Shino slowly read the letter (or maybe he had finished and was now just thinking of something to say. Who knows with those glasses on?), Kankuro briefly thought about asking how he knew he had been at the gate doors. Then thought better of it. It'd probably have something to do with bugs.

Kankuro hates two things most in the entire world, kids and bugs. His sadistic sister follows closely behind.

"…" went Shino, stepping aside to let Kankuro enter the complex.

The puppet master gave a defeated sigh and slowly trudged in. Acting like this probably wasn't the best way to promote good will, but maybe if he did a bad job he'd be sent home. But he doubted it.

---

Gaara was lucky enough to stumble across Lee on his way to said boys house. It was easy to catch up with Lee since Lee was limping. After all, kicking a lot a thousand times is bound to hurt the leg.

Gaara began walking beside the tired boy and a few minutes later was noticed.

"Gah! What are you doing here!" Lee spoke louder then usual.

Gaara silently handed him the sealed envelope.

-

Dear Lee,

Gaara and his siblings have come to Konoha to help foster good will between our villages. Because of some unexpected circumstances, the residence for their stay has not been prepared yet.

As such, I am putting my trust in you to take care of Gaara and keep him out of trouble. For every person he kills you have to run around the village ten thousand times and will have a 10 pay cut.

If you are having any trouble you can either call Naruto or Gaara's sister, Temari, for help. If neither are available then try refusing to take him to the park, or if that just makes him angry, take him to the park.

Good luck!

Lady Tsunade

Hokage

p.s. Try not to get killed yourself, okay?

-

'The park?' Lee wondered to himself, "Wait!" he suddenly shouted as the actual meaning of the letter sunk in, "You're going to be living with me?"

Gaara nodded.

Lee:...

Gaara:...

Lee:...

Gaara:...

Lee:...

The sand that stayed around Gaara's feet began to shift.

Lee: o

"So, uh. You wanna go to the park?" he said with a nervous laugh. Once more Gaara nodded.

"We have to go get Temari." He finally spoke. His voice didn't have that crazy 'I'm going to kill you' tone that it had the last time Lee met Gaara, which made Lee feel better. Plus, what kind of bad guy likes to play in parks?

Somewhere Far From Konoha

"Itachi-san," an exasperated voice spoke, "how much longer are you going to be? We have a mission to carry out."

"Not much longer, Kasumi. As soon as the moat is done."

"Alright, Itachi-san. I'll be on the swings when you're finished."

-Back in Konoha-

Lee and Gaara reached Shikamaru's house just a few minutes after Shikamaru himself.

"What?" was what a rather loud voice said just as Lee was ready to knock on the door.

"Wow, I've never heard Shikamaru be so loud." Lee said in amazement. Gaara simply opened the unlocked door and went inside. "Gaara!" Lee exclaimed, "It's rude to go into someone's house like that!" he said while following Gaara into the house.

The scene inside was interesting, and part of it would be very familiar to the full grown male of the Naru house. Shikamaru was backed against a wall, his eyes going between the other two women in the room. His mother, who was standing with her arms crossed and a frown on her face, and Temari, who was leaning against her giant fan and smirking.

"Don't be impolite to our guest. She was sent here by the Hokage herself! It's a great honour." his mother said in a stern voice.

Shikamaru opened his mouth, most likely to point out that this girl had helped attack their village just a month prior when Temari caught sight of her brother.

"Gaara! Have you come to pick me up to go to the park?" She said, a nice smile suddenly donning her face

"The park?" Shikamaru asked, a look of bewilderment on his face.

"To play tag." Gaara stated with an overly serious look on his face.

"Tag?" Shikamaru echoed.

"Why don't you come with us, Shikamaru-san?" facing Shikamaru, Temari once more wore her smirk.

Shikamaru sweat dropped. He didn't know whether to be more wary of the politeness of using 'san' on his name, the invitation, or her sudden change in expression.

"No." he said.

"Yes." his mother said.

"Yes." said Gaara's sand. Well, not so much as 'said' as shifted murderously at Shikamaru's 'no'.

"Come celebrate youth!" Lee said, giving a nice guy pose.

"I'm am not going to play tag at the park. I have more important things to do."

"Shikamaru. If you had more important things to do, then you should have done them this afternoon instead of sleeping outside the village gates. Now take our guests to the park!" her tone left no room for argument. At lest not for any argument that wouldn't get him locked out of the house for the night.

ooO

oOo

Ooo

Next week: another chapter.


End file.
